My Creations, Places I like

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Adventures of Detective Hahm, Part I: High Regard

   I started this post back in November after a hike with my buddy Zeth (read Sympathy For the Devil post to here all about it). We met a woman towards the summit with 3 dogs, and stopped to chat. We told her we were CIA students so she talked to us about a farm-to-table restaurant operated by a CIA grad called Global Palate. I began the post later that day saying I wanted to see how long it would take to finally eat there and finish the post. Last night I finally ate at Global Palate with Leah aka "Stonewall Jackson" so I was going to go into detail about my failed attempts to eat there (some days they were closed, others they were doing renovations on the place) and the meal we had, but decided to scrap the whole thing and switch things up a bit. I wrote a short story (fiction of course) about me being a detective instead. It deviates from my usual postings in a big way but I'll still describe the restaurant and meal in detail so read this segment and Part II for full analysis. Hope You enjoy....

Cool view from atop our hike. What a day...

    It was a cold November day when Zeth and I embarked on our hike up Twin mountain during our day off. We were just junior detectives back then. Towards the top we met a woman with 3 dogs. We stopped to have a casual chat, and somehow the conversation turned towards restaurants in the area. The woman told Zeth and I about a great farm-to-table restaurant just over the river from the station called Global Palate before vanishing down the icy path with her dogs. "You ok? You look kinda funny" Zeth said to me. "Yeah I'm fine. Something about that woman gives me a weird vibe. Let's keep moving, it'll be dark soon". We climbed to the top and took a few photos before climbing to the bottom and heading back to the station.
     Sitting at my desk the next morning I opened the newspaper to see the day's main headline: "MAN ROBS GROCERY STORE, STILL AT LARGE". Before I could finish reading the article I heard a loud voice from the hallway. "HAHM, IN MY OFFICE". "Yes captain" I replied before closing the paper and tossing it in the trash. "Close the door Hahm, I don't want the others hearing this". My captain was sitting in a chair behind his desk smoking the last few puffs of his cigar. "What do ya got for me cap't", I said, plopping myself in a chair. "I'm promoting you to detective" "Sir, I don't know how to..." "QUIET! I'm not finished. Along with your new promotion, I'm putting you on the grocery store case. You can thank me later, now get on it!"
(3 months later)
     I have been searching for the crook responsible for robbing the grocery store a few months back, but was getting nowhere. Every clue I found only lead to places he had already been. Every step closer took me two steps back. The madman eluded me like he knew my every move ahead of time. The scent was starting to run cold; I was chasing a ghost...
     I would go back to my dim lit office late at night, alone, wondering if he was still out there, or gone forever. I opened the office door (with the name, Hahm stenciled on it), and threw my detective trench coat and hat on the coat rack before sitting at my desk.

    An old woman appeared in front of the doorway. "You look tired detective. You want me to put a pot of coffee on for ya?" "No thanks, Joyce, that won't be necessary". It was my secretary, Joyce. An old woman, with gray hair and thick glasses. Joyce was a widow with children that have all grown up and moved away so she had no problem staying late while I was out on a beat. She closed the door and left me to my work. Soft jazz and sounds of the busy city streets below filled the room. I lit a cigarette (I don't smoke in real life by the way), placed my badge and gun on the desk, and inspected the wall that was now filled with photos of suspects, newspaper clippings, and a map of the city covered in tacks. In this large chaotic city, would I ever find this madman?
    My lucky day arrived when an "anonymous tip" gave me the location of the crook's secret hideout. I busted the door down only to find a razor blade and materials for making fake identities. A half eaten meal sat on the table. Chicken Cacciatore...still warm. Mmm, "I'm close" I thought, before finishing the chicken cacciatore. I searched the perp's apartment for clues, ruffling through his mail until I found a letter addressed to a "Mr. Gray". I went to open the letter when suddenly the phone rang. I picked up the perp's phone, slid the letter into my jacket pocket, and waited for the person on the other end of the receiver to speak. Heavy breathing gave way to a calm voice, "so detective, I see you found my apartment. Go ahead, make yourself at home. Although I'm sure you already have..." While on the phone I moved about the room and peered out an open window. "Mr. Gray?" The phone disconnected.

    On the street below a dark shadowy figure hung up a pay phone and began to walk down the street. Running downstairs and out the main entrance I shouted into the street, "STOP! POLICE!" The shadowy figure took off and I was forced to chase him on foot. Chasing the man down the street, he turned and fired a shot that zipped right past my ear. A loud crackling sound echoed through the still evening air like thunder. I dove behind two metal trash cans and waited for him to fire off three more shots before taking off again. Peering over the trash cans I fired a round that slammed into a brick wall just missing the man's head before he disappeared into a dark alley. "I'm getting too old for this shit" I said to myself while brushing garbage off my coat. Making my way down the dark alley I heard the sound of a cat's cry and a few rats rummaging through old garbage, knocking over glass bottles in the process. A small wooden door lead to a dark abandoned building, where I was convinced the criminal escaped into. I called for backup before entering the old building. I had a small flashlight, other than that  it was utterly impossible to see.

    Making my way through the 2nd story of the building I heard the creaking of floor boards from the other side of the room. Then silence. The suspect fired two more shots at me, each bullet barely missing my body. Ducking behind a wooden beam I fired a few more rounds lighting up the room. A "huuuhhhrrgg" could be herd in the now quiet room. Wounded, the suspect broke a window and jumped out. Running to the window I saw him pick himself up and limp down the sidewalk. Before he could get 20 feet I fired a round, hitting him in his left calf muscle. The man dropped to the ground in agony.
    By the time I made my way out of the building and onto the street backup had arrived. As I walked towards the suspect he turned, pointing his firearm straight at me. "Go ahead and shoot, Mr. Gray. You fired 6 shots back there. You're outta bullets", I said, walking towards him. Mr. Gray cocked back the hammer and pulled the trigger. Click. Click click click. "I told you Mr. Gray...your outta bullets!" Two officers handcuffed him and stood him up. "What were you doing stealing prime cuts of beef from the grocery store Mr. Gray?" Mr. Gray, bloodied and exhausted from the chase mustered up enough strength to spit in my face. "You think you solved something? You think you got this whole thing figured out huh? You have no idea who I work for, do you? You ain't solved SHIT!" "Where you're going, Mr. Gray..." wiping phlegm from my face, " won't be spitting you'll be doing. Take him away boys".
    "You want a lift, detective?", one of the officer's asked, while the other read Mr. Gray his Miranda Rights. "I'll take a rain check, its a nice night for a walk". On my walk home I stopped to light a cigarette (again, I don't smoke in real life), leaned against the brick wall of a building and opened the letter addressed to Mr. Gray.

(The letter reads:)
 "Deliver the goods to Global Palate, then get rid of that detective that keeps snooping around."
     I flipped the envelope around, but there was no return address. Suddenly Mr. Gray's last few words rang in my head over and over "You ain't solved SHIT!".

"Well...looks like the cap'ts payin' me overtime..."


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